Nonsensical Ramblings and Fictional Situations

Arbitrary Insults and Hyperbole abound

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What I would have done…

So it’s been what, two weeks, since the record mega millions jack pot was won? I, like many of you, imagined what I would do with the money. I can’t say a single practical thought approached my minds eye. So here are a few things I would have at least tried to do with the lotto money.

First I would of bought the unclaimed area of land next to the Orchard Apts, and put up a billboard that simply said: DANGER ZONE. Next I would of built a moat around the billboard and filled it with Dr.Pepper. Then I would have filled said Dr. Pepper moat with specially modified alligators and piranhas to live in there. Next, my favorite part, I would then surround outside of the moat with gorillas with shotguns attached to their forearms. Now, these gorillas would have NO control over when these loaded fire arms would go off; so even if the buckshot doesn’t kill you, the extremely frightened and angry gorilla would. This entire area would be fenced in of course, but underneath the billboard would be one million dollars in cash for whomever dared to venture over there.

After I got bored with that project I would have moved on to my next caper, this one being a bit more time consuming. First I would exchange large quantities of money into gold doubloons. Next I would have flown around the world to various spots, not necessarily all beaches, and buried said treasure. I would then draw maps of all the locations where treasure is buried and leave them in completely different parts of the world. Also none of the maps would say how much is buried. So one could get ten dollars or ten million dollars, depending on which map they follow.

And then, probably right after drinking too much, I would have poured millions into research for fully functional Wolverine claws.

So that’s about it. Fucked up thing is all that would have cost what, maybe a hundred million dollars? After taxes, the winnings(if it had only been one person winning) would have been like 300 million give or take.